INDfamily

MALLORY JUNEAU: Slacker elf

by Amanda Bedgood

Keeping the elf on the shelf

I am often reminded that I am a crazy busy working mother of two around the holidays, not because of the changes in my family's traditions but because of all of the overachieving Pinterest mommas out there.  Not trying to knock you, honestly I am a little jealous but secretly hate you at the same time.

I use Pinterest on a daily basis, but for me, I don't actually ever follow through on any of the crafts, projects or recipes I pin. It's for looking up workout routines for a body I will never have or pinning photos of extreme ombre hair that I am too chicken to try or recipes that will never make it out of my kitchen, it's a fantasy - for me anyway.

Valentine's Day, my 3 year old Luna comes home with a bag full of handmade (some with personalized notes and professional photography) cards and I barely had enough time to write "From, Luna" on her store bought TinkerBell cards.  Easter, I volunteered to bring paper towels for the party because I knew I wouldn't have time to make bunny cupcakes or egg candies. Halloween, Luna comes home with organic (yes, that is right) homemade caramel sauce in a mini mason jar and an organic apple for dipping ... seriously?

Christmas time is even worse than all of those holidays combined.  Monogrammed Christmas outfits and family photos and not to mention all of my friends daily "Elf on the Shelf" shenanigans posted to Facebook each morning and I think to myself: "Who has time?" or "Am I a horrible parent because I don't do this?"

We have an Elf on the Shelf but I didn't want to put him out right when I put out all of my other decorations making my 7-year-old skeptical about his realness, so I stored him back in the box in the shed and put it on my to-do list to grab him the next day.  The next day came and the next day and soon it was a week later and I still hadn't gotten the elf out.  Bailor started to ask "Where is Buddy?"

Feeling like a deadbeat and a bit annoyed with myself for starting this charade last year, I make up a clever excuse why Buddy isn't anywhere to be seen.  "I think he is hiding to make sure you guys are good for real." Luna bought it with no issue but I could see the gears in Bailor's head turning.

A few days later he asked again where Buddy was and even added that he was worried that he hadn't come yet and it so close to Christmas.  Once again I feel awful but try and retrieve him from the box in the shed to try and redeem myself, to find that the shed has been locked from the inside by my dad and brother-in-law who came by to get some things, and I don't have a key.

Just perfect, it's either keep up the lies and blame it on our slacker elf Buddy or take the door off the hinges to keep up the charade.

Not that I am lazy, but the door is still on its hinges and my kiddos will be able to have an amazingly magical Christmas without Buddy getting into trouble each night while they sleep.

So we are doing a "vintage" Christmas this year, one with a tree and hot cocoa and Christmas movies before the Elf on the Shelf came to complicate things.  Just think how cool my kids will feel when they tell their friends "We didn't have Elf on the Shelf, it was too mainstream for us?" Such rebels!

There may not be an Elf on the Shelf. But, there is a beautiful tree ready for the kids.