Feb. 12, 2014 05:30

Valentine's Day gifts, practically

What do women really want for Valentine's Day? Let's go ahead and say what we are suppose to say: "All I want for Valentine's Day is to be in the presence of the one I love." Now that we've taken care of the obligatory declaration, let's talk about the material side of romance. Roses, chocolates and Hallmark cards that sing and dance are fine gifts if you are into that sort of thing, but over the years I have learned a few truths: the flowers die because I forget to water them, chocolate makes me fat and the greeting cards leave behind a trail of glitter I cannot sweep off the floor no matter how hard I try.

I recently celebrated a birthday and before that, an anniversary. Oh, and then there was Christmas. I'd say I've pretty much tapped out my husband on gift giving. But if you are reading this dear husband, I'd like one of those practical old person type gifts. I'd like a blender. A Vitamix to be more specific. It's a sign of the times when you openly admit you'd be thrilled to receive a kitchen appliance as a gift over a heart shaped box filled with your body weight in bon bons.

Ah yes, the Vitamix: it's practical, it won't get thrown in the trash can after a week and it's a gift for you too, dear husband - I'll make you something with it, I promise. If kitchen appliances aren't her thing, there are plenty of inexpensive gifts I can think of that moms would love to receive on Valentine's Day. You doing the dishes, folding the laundry and letting her sleep an extra hour without little feet sticking in her back are what women really want. Hope you kept the receipt for that lacy lingerie we will never wear.

It's not that we are unromantic, it's that we can see beyond hearts and flowers and find the real romance in you coloring in a Hello Kitty coloring book or struggling to get pigtails even. We love seeing you take the kids out to breakfast while we do our make up extra pretty for Valentine's Day - after all, the day of love extends to the kiddos, too. But let's be clear, we do love diamonds. This does not mean we don't want diamonds. We just want diamonds and extra sleep.


Read the flipping paper