Oct. 22, 2014 04:10 PM

Belief in a national outbreak of the Ebola zombie virus is becoming more of a threat every day, and The Hayride - Louisiana's one true bastion for unrelentingly conservative political commentaries - thought it wise to share a certain special someone's  "important message" with readers Tuesday on what to do when, not if, it comes.

Belief in a national outbreak of the Ebola zombie virus is becoming more of a threat every day, and The Hayride - Louisiana's one true bastion for unrelentingly conservative political commentaries - thought it wise to share a certain special someone's  "important message" with readers Tuesday on what to do when, not if, it comes.

"There's no safe zone from what's going to happen" - Glenn Beck

Editor Scott McKay encourages Hayride readers in a Tuesday email to carefully read what he describes as an important message containing "some special information" from one of the online blog site's "highly valued sponsors."

And the message is fairly simple: For any red-blooded American whose nose turns at the thought of surviving on a steady diet of human brains and entrails, don't start freaking yet; avoiding Ebola, and thereby avoiding a fate of joining the  zombified ranks of the undead, merely requires following a few do-it-yourself steps that were laid out recently by doomsday survivalist Glenn Beck, who also moonlights as a conservative talking head.

Beck's advice: Better start stockpiling food, water and what ever off-grid power devices you can get your hands on before it's too late. Beck says he recently gave this same advice to his son, who's also feeling a bit scared lately over the shape of things to come. Here's Beck recapping that conversation on what to expect come doomsday:

Son, the best thing to do is have cash on hand. Lots of food in storage and be ready to go if needed. These things will unfortunately come. But they are going to come all over the world. No place will be different. There's no safe zone from what's going to happen.

Now, if that's happening, what does that mean for you?

That means: You better have food. You better have water. You better have some sort of alternative fuel: Electricity, logs, anything. You should have gold or silver or cash on hand because what happens if the banks - in a pandemic, it could very easily close. Your malls, your stores will close.

And the clock's ticking, says Beck, noting that the virus could very well spread on a global scale within the next two months, infecting up to as many as 10,000 people. And if that doesn't come to pass, don't think you're in the clear, because according to Beck, word has it that Ebola could find its way into the hands of terrorists (it's unclear which terrorists). And as long as they're able to avoid catching the virus, we may soon find ourselves the targets of a "full-on terror attack" using Ebola-infused "bio-nukes."

Based on what Beck and the bloggers over at The Hayride have been seeing lately in whatever type of crystal ball they use to acquire such valuable information as seen in Tuesday's email, one thing is clear: Unless you're a Walking Dead fan with an unhealthy obsession for all things post-apocalyptic, the future as seen by Beck and The Hayride folks, well, it ain't looking too good; not in the least.

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