If I could describe myself in three words they would be: determined, ambitious and passionate. It's odd because those are the traits that I see in myself but for most of my life, people have seen these same traits as "bossy" or "dramatic" or "intense." These sorts of labeling words can be harmful to someone's self view and to a kid, they can be extremely damaging. 

As a parent of a boy and a girl, you have this idea that you are never going to treat your kids differently because of their gender, just like you believe you will never let your kids wear horrible Dora shoes from the dollar store. Ha, you are wrong. Let's face it, as much as it sucks, girls and boys are treated differently by the world and that can often trickle into everyday life at home not matter how equal you may think your household may be. I feel like my children have reverse roles, Bailor, 8 is super sweet and submissive, he is easily manipulated by other kids and I am often having to teach him to stick up for himself and be as assertive as possible. Luna on the other hand, 4, is the one who is overly assertive and honestly the epitome of the three dirty words I used above (SHHH bossy, dramatic and intense.) Even though she may be all of these things, I have to remind myself to use other words to describe her mood, personality and attitude. 

Girls are taught to be more submissive and when they do show initiative they are taught that its a negative action when they should be being praised for these actions just like boys are. If you haven't checked it out yet there is this amazing initiative by celebrities, the Girl Scouts of American and  to "Ban Bossy" or ban the sorts of labels that crush a girls want and ability to be a leader.  

Being bossy and dramatic or intense (like I have been told all of my life) has made me into a successful 28-year-old mother of two that feels like I can conquer the world and I want my little girl and little boy to feel the same way without being labeled. 

bossy.jpg

 

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