Dorian Phibian settles for third in 3rd

by Walter Pierce

Thank you, dude, for ... whatever that was.

Louisiana politics is nothing if not colorful. Proof: Jacob “Dorian Phibian” Hebert, one of two Democrats in the 12-candidate field vying to replace Rep. Charles Boustany in Louisiana’s 3rd Congressional District seat. A Lafayette musician, anime enthusiast and self-professed consumer of cannabis, Hebert turned his run for Congress into surreal — and, frankly, sublime — performance art.

He crowd-sourced his $1,000 qualifying fee to run for Congress. He released his platform over Facebook on July 30 by posting photographs of 13 handwritten positions on everything from the 2nd Amendment to Social Security and health care. His campaign slogan was “Vote For Yourself Next Time.” He might have had a nervous breakdown during the campaign, posting in later September:

I wore heels to the Lafayette [Democratic Party Executive Committee] Lifetime Achievement Awards last night as a statement that if you are really behinds Womyn’s Liberation then be proud to walk a mile in their shoes. But I also threw a plate of raw vegetables and plain noodles into the stage (not intentionally in the vicinity of Cathreen Blanco, my bad bae. You my girl, C.B.) and i exited through the kitchen and saw this banner that said something about “Strength through Diversity” & I pushed it over on the ground and exited the hotel. Security followed me all the way around the building from 100 feet away like a total dingus & I took off my heels & took to the shadows. I had to deal with cops just as I got off of the Ramada. They accused me of causing a disturbance. I told them i had caused an excitement. Nobody got hurt. I was not being detained. They let me go. The 1st cop said he knew me from YouTube! It was my first day home from the mental hospital. Weeeeeee

In mid-October he wrote on Facebook: “After much consideration, I have decided to turn my back on the Democratic party, which I feel no longer represents me or my beliefs. From now on, I am running in the name of Anime, Manga, Psychedelia, Women, & Fat Blunts. Again, to be perfectly clear, I am now running in the name of Anime, Manga, Psychedelia, Women, & Fat Blunts. Thank You.”

A week later he washed his hand of the campaign, posting on social media, “I don’t ever want to talk about politics again for as long as I live.”

He might have moved to New Orleans along the way, which is out of the district.

On Tuesday, Nov. 8 he came in third in the election with 28,358 votes, or 9 percent of the total. It was a distant third behind runoff candidates Scott Angelle and Clay Higgins, the latter of whom Hebert had struck up a “friendship” over the summer. But it was still third place, and he finished ahead of fellow Democrat Larry Rader, a New Iberia insurance agent and president of the Port of Iberia. A serious candidate, in other words. (He also finished ahead of well-funded, mainstream GOP candidates Greg Ellison, Gus Rantz and Grover Joseph Rees.)

Thank you, Dorian, for ... whatever that was.