Mary Tutwiler

You know you're from Louisiana...

by Mary Tutwiler

We love the long lists that arrive via email beginning with “You know you’re from Louisiana when...” This one is from the Houma Courier, compiler anonymous:

“Your sunglasses fog up when you step outside, even in December.

“You reinforce your attic to store Mardi Gras beads.

“You save newspapers, not for recycling but for tablecloths at crawfish boils.

“You drink Community Coffee, have tried Starbucks, but don’t see what all the fuss is about.

“You take a bite of five-alarm chili and reach for the Tabasco.

“Every once in a while, you have waterfront property.

“You sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says, ‘Don’t eat the dead ones,’ and you know what he means.

“You don’t learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.

“You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras beads.

“Little old ladies push YOU out of the way to catch Mardi Gras beads.

“You believe that purple, green and gold look good together.

“Your last name isn’t pronounced the way it’s spelled.

“You know what a nutria is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.

“Your town is low on the education chart, high on the obesity chart and you don’t care because you’re No. 1 on the party chart.

“Your Santa Claus rides an alligator and your favorite Saint is a football player.

“You cringe every time you hear an actor with a Southern or Cajun accent in a ‘New Orleans-based’ movie or TV show.

“When it starts to rain, you cover your beer instead of your head.

“You’ve eaten at AND know how to pronounce ... Prejeans, Tujague’s, Gallatoire’s, Ralph & Kacoo’s, Brunet’s or Mulatte’s.

“You call home just to find out what your momma’nem are having for supper tonight.”