Letters to the Editor


R. Reese Fuller's piece in which he lays out a Hurricane Katrina timeline ("A Time of Need," Sept. 21) was hilarious for two reasons. First, because in his timeline every single thing that happened in the mishandling of events was the fault of federal authorities, namely Bush; secondly, because this piece was not written as an editorial. It was so biased I kept looking for an editorial tag somewhere to no avail. I could just as easily have created a similar timeline, which would have made Gov. Blanco, Mayor Nagin and the rest of our state officials look like total incompetent boobs, and in fact that was my intention when I began to write this letter. Instead I thought I'd illustrate the absurdity of Fuller's piece by giving you what must be a typical day in Fuller's life.

6 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller wakes up to discover that during the night the covers slipped off the bed. Blames Bush.

6:30 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller pours a cup of coffee, puts too much sugar in cup. Blames Bush.

7 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller takes a shower, notices that shower nozzle is becoming clogged with calcium deposits. Blames Bush.

8 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller fires up the computer to read the latest at dailykos.com and democraticunderground.com. Discovers that the rollers in his mouse have become engorged with lint. Blames Bush.

9 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller drives to video store to return Fahrenheit 9/11. Notices his inspection sticker is expired. Blames Bush.

10 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller steps in dog doo on way to office. Blames Bush.

11 a.m.: R. Reese Fuller writes an article about the first few seconds of the Big Bang. Blames Bush.

12:30 p.m.: While at lunch, R. Reese Fuller contemplates how cool it is that when he writes his name he initializes his first name and writes out his middle name in the tradition of many other famous journalists of the past. Begins to wonder if others consider it ridiculous and vain. Incorrectly surmises that only Bush voters would think so.

2 p.m.: R. Reese Fuller notices it is 2:00. Blames Bush.

3 p.m.: R. Reese Fuller begins to daydream about his brilliant piece a few years back written in breathless, whiny prose about why Fahrenheit 9/11 was not showing at a certain point in Lafayette when it was showing in Shreveport and Baton Rouge ("No Moore for Lafayette," June 30, 2004), then remembers that when the documentary Michael Moore Hates America was showing in those same cities he forgot to write one word about why that documentary was never shown in Lafayette. Blames Bush.

4 p.m.: R. Reese Fuller notices that it is extraordinarily hot and that it is beginning to get cloudy as the sun goes farther down in the sky. Blames Bush.

5 p.m.: R. Reese Fuller leaves work. Tunes into Air America on his XM Radio. Goes through bank drive-thru, where the overhang forces him to lose the signal and cuts off Randi Rhodes just as she was about to blame something on Bush. Blames Bush.

6 p.m.: Bartender gives R. Reese Fuller an Amstel instead of an Amstel Light. Fuller blames Bush.

7 p.m.: R. Reese Fuller gets home and puts his tinfoil hat on backwards by accident. Blames Bush.

9 p.m.: R. Reese Fuller gets into bed, then realizes he forgot to turn off bathroom light. Blames Bush.

9:15 p.m. to 6 a.m.: Dreams about a world where everything bad that happens is Bush's fault.

(Editor's Note: Scott Jordan and Staff Writer Nathan Stubbs co-compiled "A Time of Need.")